


The Same but Different

by AvengersCompound (emilyevanston)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Happy Steve Bingo, Letters, Light Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Reflection, Same-Sex Marriage, married bliss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 21:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16730607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/AvengersCompound
Summary: Steve writes a letter to Bucky talking about his feelings about being married.For my Happy Steve Bingo Fill:  Married Bliss





	The Same but Different

Dear Bucky,

The thing about marriage is, really it doesn’t change anything.  Maybe there are couples that’s different for. The ones that save themselves.  The ones that don’t move in until after the wedding. The ones that don’t even meet until the wedding day.  It was likely a lot to get used to in those situations. Certainly that’s the way I saw it going for me when I was young.  That is if it went anyway at all.

Meet a dame.  Date. Propose.  Wedding. Wedding night.  Try and figure out how you share a household with someone you’ve never lived with before and hope it works out for you.  You’d put the things you needed on your wedding register because you’d still been living with your parents. Plates and pans and the very newest appliances.

I was kinda glad when I found out that’s not really how it went these days.

I mean, I wasn’t exactly great at dating.  I always felt awkward. Which of course made me act really awkward.  It didn’t help that I was always doubling with you and both girls kept their eyes on you the whole time.

It’s not that I don’t like romance.  I like it. I love the more ‘old-fashioned’ type.  Flowers and opening doors and holding out chairs and walking a person home.  That is all great. I just consider at least half of that common courtesy. I’d hold the door open for anyone.  I’d walk anyone home if I was worried about their safety.

Maybe what I like most is chivalry?

I think in the end I just like the practicality of how people go about relationships these days.  I like the way people make sure you can live together first. It can be stressful living together.  I mean look at how Tony is always yelling at everyone for not picking up after themselves.

Besides we didn’t exactly have any choice.  We have kinda been living with together since we were kids.

Yeah, back then we’d been ‘just friends’.  Oh god, if I had known you’d felt the same way about me, Buck.  I wish we hadn’t been so stupid back them. In any case, we still shared bills and chores and ate meals together.  How many pairs of your shoes did I shine, do you think? How many nights did you sit up with me because my stomach pains were so bad I couldn’t sleep.  I mean I guess we’d technically gone on dates too. I definitely had more fun with you on those dates than with the girls you’d forced me to go with.

I know back then you were different.  That Bucky wasn’t this Bucky. So maybe I shouldn’t count it.  I do though. You’re still you, even with all the things. I know I can’t really compare it, but I’m not that Steve anymore either.  But I still count it.

Besides, we lived together before we got married after all that shit went down.

I can’t describe to you how good it felt when you had told me how you felt about me.  I know that must have been so hard. I never had the courage to do it. I also knew that once it happened there was no rushing.  Yes, this had been 90 years in the making, but you needed to go slow. I needed that too if I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t waiting for marriage for you though.  When you were ready to have sex I was so so ready. I had needed you like I needed oxygen.

So yeah.  Things had changed for us since the day we met.  We were just little kids back then. We grew. Became men.  Joined the war. Lost each other. Lost everything. Rediscovered each other.  Admitted our feelings. We aren’t those kids anymore. Not at all. Change has happened.  It wasn’t marriage’s doing though. I was blissfully happy with you, unmarried and you wrapped in my arms knowing you were safe.  I was blissfully happy when we arranged my wardrobe to fit your clothes and found you a drawer for your socks.

Marriage really didn’t change that.

Only it did completely.

Being married to you is like some kind of dream that I never dared to have.  I admit, there were nights when I’d be lying on the couch cushions on the floor beside your bed that I would let myself daydream about you loving me the same way I loved you.  That we would say fuck the world and what they thought and just be together. Sharing a bed and a life.

I never once allowed myself to dream that would include marriage.  How could it? Two men? It was against the law and against God. We’d be lucky if just being low key and living our life didn’t get us hate.

Not that I wasn’t used to that.  I lived that every day. I just didn’t wish that on you.  Besides, you liked the ladies, how could I have known you were looking past them at me?

So no, marriage never entered my mind.

Only now, here we are.  Things are just the same.  I’m still Captain America. You still fight for the things you think are right.  I still roll my eyes everytime you and Sam start bickering with each other in that way you do that really means you’re fond of each other.  I still have to pick your dirty clothes off the floor and you still have to drag me out of fights.

It hasn’t changed anything.  Yet I wake up each day, you pressed tightly against me, and I touch that wedding band and I think here I am with my husband and I can’t remember ever being happier.

That day we got up in front of all my friends and I said the I dos.  I promised for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or for poorer that I would stay by your side.  I’d promised that a long time ago. You and me to the end of the line, remember? It was different though because it wasn’t just me and you.  It was the world getting to see, this is the man I love. I love him and I will always love him and there is nothing that you can throw at us that will ever be as bad as the things we have had to endure.  That we would keep enduring because we had each other and we always would.

I love you, Buck.  I have loved you for so long now I can’t remember a time that I didn’t.  I am so glad we were able to get married. I love being your husband. Yours.  Always. Until the end of the line.

It hasn’t changed anything and yet, tell me, why does it make me so happy?

Until the end of the line.

Your

Steve.


End file.
